sometimes i have to slap myself in the face to wake up. and its when things get crazy. its like right now. life things happen and i have to slap myself in the face to remind myself to react.
life things happening fast :
old friend who got arrested two years ago has sentencing hearing on thursday. he could get up to twenty years of federal prison. some people kill people and dont get that much time. it really is crazy to think.
murder by my pad last night or two nights or something. a guy was murdered and hes a guy who lives around here all the time. if it is who i think it is it is someone ive talked to before and hes a nice guy who minds his own business. and he was murdered out there. its a beautiful place that fosters peace and it is so sad to always see worse things every day. the consequences of being alive.
my cousin has some health problems like lyme disease or something. this is new. i cannot believe it. i feel some kind of weird guilt like the guilt of mankind. im freaked out if i think about it in a real way. hes one of the only people who gets it.
all of it makes me want to slip out between the pages. just get away from it all. earth things and life. its breaking my brain. i get despair and fear like i got to jump off a bridge just be finished with learning more bad things. thats when i slap myself in the face. and i remember the angle i know best ^ from above.
this world is full of the same few colors just mixed up and swip swap between people. the closer it is the less it seems like that but it is. and so if anything applies before it applies after. i might look crazy slapping myself around but its that kind of world where we respond to pain and yeah tuning in does make you crazy.
and there arent really good things that even out like that its more like evening out the weight against music.
