fruitlessness of truth

spurred ,
IM SICK ...  feel the strong need to VOMIT parts of me that are POISON .. EGO . im tazed by an alternating current + and - rapid back to back . move out of my sunlight .... there are things inside me still that cannot be displaced by starving alone . the guys who set themselves on fire know something .. war today . kill me .. we have the capacity but no drive . maybe in my DNA but NOISE the dominating sense - THE DEVIL . what is it about sunday ... gloomy sunday ?? will i find out and if i do will it be worse to know ? we are so close .. heavens gate people know something also . this is what hurts the core of my skeleton . i have never fit in and now i know . why did i drink jim jones flavor-aid every time ?? i had many times to relive it . i DREAM lucid .. thats along side but goes against . hope i never see the man breaking down my door .