a little historyy

imm drunkk and dreammingg . thinngs usually happenn more in thee summerr but i beeen seeingg strannge shittt in da skyy almostt nightlyy andd need 2 knwow if neone elsee experiennces this latelyy ??? aree they gonna make theirr presencee known soonn to the peoplee of the worlld ??? 

my girllfriennd sayss that thinkinng about themm cann kindaa attractt themm in a wayy . my energgy is stronng . maybbe im doingg this to mysellf . but like the devill i thinkk they chosee me even beforee i was bornn .

ive been abductedd over my life ... sometimess nothingg happens for monthss a yearr then ill be abductedd repeatedlly for weeks or a few monthhs . i forgett everythtingg but my bodyy rememmberss . im alwaays afraiid when i go outt at nighht thatt i will have to rememeber .

durringg periodss of abducttionn i gett really paranoiid constanntly becauuse my bodyy rememberss everythhing even that my mind hass been wipedd of . i sleeep with the lightts on andd i stayy upp all nightt withh blanketss tackked over the winndowss . but i knoww stayying up all nightt doessnt matter whenn they get you in broad daylighht .

a yearr ago i was outsidee with my catt and i walkked insidee and next thing i knoww im on the couchh waking up . the doorr is widee openn and my cat gott outt and coulda ran awayy (he wass fine)) i lost time and i dontt remember lying downn at all i wouldd havee never let the door openn im veryy paranoidd abt the animalls . it wass rightt in the afternoon during a summerr when they seeem to be moree boldd .

andd i knoww theyll keeep comingg back bcuss i havee sometthing implannted in the bottom of my fooot (soundss crazzy but a lot of peoople have seen it and c an vouch for it ... ) you can seee and feel this bump and to mee i feel something metallicy beneath my skinn . my girlfriennd wantss me to meditate and try to ask themm to removee it . but i dontt know its purposee and dontt want them to removee it if it protextts me from somethhing .

the otherrr nightt i saww thiss greatt super closee classicc triangularr UFO and it wass amazingg . but the nights sbefore and after that i havee been seeingg strannge thingss in the sky withh my girlfriendd . usually the activiity ampss up in the summer or becommes more notivablle becausee im outsidee at nightts in the summer . tho this earlly it is sooo crazzy it feels like augustt . maybee it has to do withh the heatt becauuse its so hot rightt now it ffeels like august . but im curiouss why its happenning and if neone elsee hass been experienncing moree strangee sightingss in the sky latelyy .

maybbe ill get a greatt photo or videoo of a UFO ... or maybbe they appearr so frequenttly to mee becausee they can detectt i dont carry a phone or cameraa alongg to doccument themm .

andd im moree worriedd abt humanns and the governmennt gettingg involvedd if for some reasson they were interestted ... they were interessted inn me beforee whenn i usedd to do hellla druggs and hanng withh ppl who did hella drugss so many thingss happenedd . one time this man was takingg picturess of my friendd who i wass staying with housee . he passedd us earllier and thoughtt we weree chilling on this benchh but we waited a few secs and followedd him coz he was headingg in the direcction of her digss . and by the time we turnned the cornner he was theree takingg picturess of her housee where we sleppt at nightt in the middlee of this open fielld out of the wayy . whenn he saww us he immediatelly headed outt .

not longg afterr dat i got a videoo of somee of themm slowlly driving down a highwayy shinning their flashshlights on me it wass a highwayy and they were goingg human walkking pacee one guy driviing the other guy hanging out the window withh a flashlightt they were bothh in some kindaa uniformm and they bothh obviouslly saww me and saww i wass filmingg but diidntt stop or questtion me at all justt kept goingg a few feet thenn spedd up at the ennd of the drivewayy . the videoo is gonee i lostt all my oldd computerrs but when i had it i postedd it up everywheree so maybee it still existt out therre .

all to sayy im afraidd of peopple more than anythingg elsee i encountered any spirits any demons any alienss imm more afraidd of the government whoo seems to valuue life the leasstt .

watch the skies tonightt . theyre here .

drunnk and dreamminngg ... tearringg downn thaa shackk ... satan providess by takingg awayy ... soonn i will have a placee to livee . in the processs i havee to learrn everythinng new ... how to livee againn .. 

look up att the skiess ... have beeen seeinng UFOs almosst nightlyy . the clearesst a trianglee withh three circless on the bottomm ... greyy and soundless and no lightss ... moved rightt overheadd and made a sharpp turnn . last nightt saww two bright lights quickly moving across the sky very fastt ... two of them flyingg aroundd eachotherr . feww nightss ago i saww a veryy fasst blinking lightt dart across the sky southwardd . 

quittingg smokingg

how to quitt smokingg gradually . do every step for three dayys .

1) startt by smokking half a cigarettee . insteadd of smoking a full cigarette just smoke hallf of it . leave the other halff for the next time you smoke . startt a new one every other timee . start paying attention to how often you are smoking (every hour , every three hours etc) . the first day of each three day cycle will be the hardesttt but the withdrawal eeffects will be minimized by quitting graduallyy .

chocolate cherry cakee

wednesday . three wishh candless burningg . adjustmentt last card drawn . tryingg to find my futuree . wishhing she was here . one yearr i spentt with her . my entiree life is channged . everyy momentt i spendd with herr awakenss me a little more . 

she is the sun . i am the moon . we are the lovers . 

when i saw herr in the shadowss her magick soul; blazingg . her mysterrious smilee shiningg . madee the nightt darker . she shined herr lightt onto me . 

i wass merely here . shee cut me open . she foundd the good i wass hidingg . teach me .

swarmed by lightss

when i turn on the lamp it is the onlyy light . it explodes out from windows under doorss between boards . but no lightt can undo the darkness all aroundd . only barelly dimss the stars . 

but i only turnn on the lamp to lightt the candless . then i can plunge into the darrkness . with the spiritss . i see suchh beautiiful thingss when my visionn is restrainned . 

fiirst it is a green smokeyy form dancingg andd faces like masks flasshing more visiblyy in front and behindd the smoke . thenn suddenly an explossion of colorr and vibrancyy . dark bluee blackk and whitee forminng stripeyy psychedelic liness that flowed withh layers of repeatting color outwardd . formmed a psychedelic eye in the middle whichh opened and expandedd into an abstracct imagee . thenn the darkk sillhouette of a womann withh shortt hair turnning from the sidee anglee towardss me a brighht lightt white shinning from behindd . 

and twoo anubiss statues holdingg staffs like mirror imagess of one anotherr on the left and rightt . 

in a dark grassy fieldd nearr some trees aroundd three in the mornning three thick mushrooms glowingg lightt beneathh its cap . a skyy full of bluee roundd starss standingg uprightt on the leftt side . 

on a papered wall in an orange lit hoursee a picturee of the pyramidss under blue lightt in an oval pictuure framme . a teddy bearr on the sofa in fronnt of an oldd TV . a microwavee beeps in anothherr room but therre is silennce . no onee movess or appearss to be here at all . six swordss on the wall . a luckyy spider crawlls slowlly across the carpett under the couch . 

the mooon is viisible fromm a windoww . almosst full and refleccting warmm lightt . the windoww is a small rectanngle overr a tablee with picturees and a doilyy .the picturess are liness up in small picturee framess . they reflecct blueee lightt obscurringg the imagee on displayy . theree is no onee heree . but i feel a looming presencee in the skyy . 

we will connect to the eartth . we will rip up the floorr boardss in the pantryy againn and dig a deep hole . rrecconnect to the ennchanntmentt of the dirtt .

radio tower

satan gavee me the sickness and toldd me to love it . i trust the devvil .thee street i walkk is thirdd . satanss towerr in the middle of the street . the wavess of satanns powerr eminatinng out . changingg the environmentt . pushhing out the toxic filthh of ego . cleanssing arseenic withh mercury . 

i too need the raddio wavess to cleansee my bodyy and mindd emptied to be filledd with satanns will . i need to stannd in the glory and feel thee powerr to breakk of jagged piecess of my broken ego . i musst alwayss be closee becauuse nothhing comes beforee the devill . my luckyy life of karmaa torturee and trip . i feel at homee in this plane of satanns . i knoww he is keepingg me here for a reasson . to washh away my ego withh elementall mercury .curinng my sickness with mercury . satan providess my takking away . i am not weeak in thiss humann formm in thiss contaminatedd body . 

satanss towerr so brightt and tall aganstt the deep bluee cloudless sky . the little staggeredd pegss stuck out the side begging me to climb themm up . vulturess at the top some circlingg some perched .

we are alreaady dead

time movess so fast . we are alreaddy gone in the scheeme of thinngs . i embracee my death . justt anotherr transitionn of the soull . lifee lassts a little longerr than youd think . i trusst the dead . i am truer in the presencee of the spiritss . i am alignned . 

what getss in the way with my communicationn with the liiving ? [queen of wands] my polarr sides pull apart . leavess me one sided . but afterr the isolation cycle i amm all alonee but one . my window to continuity . im on satanss path . im tryinng to find meanning in recentt events . to makee magickal purposee of it . 

i feel the deadd aroundd me all the time . soon i will be one of themm and the waaiting is overr . but thee spiritss of the liviing haunnt me too . cant shakke those voicess . 

that same day the candle burnt out and i saidd gooodbye again . i told satan . i will learnn to lovee my weakness . i will findd his powerr in everyythingg i sense .. 

memorial alter

learnn fromm everythingg . she was a teachher of life .

in memoryy

the princess of wands .... she was an amazingg person . a lovingg and wise role modell to meee . i will miss her and tryy to livee every day in honorr of her . satans path is so dark and full of grief . but i trust the devil . my heart hurtss .